The Bullying has Stopped.

Considering the changes in our lives in the past 6 months, and the worry and stress that has come with this, our son had coped amazing well and I truly believe the Goulding Process -SleepTalk®  had allowed him to do this.

His confidence has soared and most importantly the bullying has completely stopped. The family as a whole are more united.

This is the best result we could have hoped for. The process has also helped my husband and I to work as a team with our son and there is more communication, understanding and general harmony in the family unit.

SleepTalk® Accredited Consultant/Mum – Shirley Kay – UK 2004

Consultant report: Parents used the Goulding Procress – SleepTalk™  for both their children, their son aged 9 and their daughter aged 6, to improve their confidence. I worked with ‘E’ on her own. However, she taught her husband the process and they took turns in doing the nightly routine. ‘E’ sent me this case history

My 9 year old son has loved his kickboxing class ever since he was 3. His natural perfectionist tendencies meant that he progressed so quickly, advanced so far through his grades, and did so well in competitions that he was moved up to a class for older children.

He then suddenly lost his confidence in sparring with children who were bigger, stronger and had longer reach. He started getting upset, crying, panicking and freaking out when fights did not go his way and he was clearly losing his love of the sport.

I approached Paola for help and we began using SleepTalk™ in August this year specifically working on his confidence in sparring. After 4 weeks the changes were evident: He was more confident in his training, the panicking and freaking out stopped and he cried a lot less.

There were other noticeable changes in his general level of confidence: He was less afraid of spiders and crane flies (which had previously disturbed him) and at a museum trip he stunned us all by volunteering to hold a tarantula in front of 250 people.

His creativity and confidence in his studies improved and he soared to the top of his class where he has remained. He became more assertive and courageous in other areas: willingly going into shops on his own and launching himself off a huge zip-wire without hesitation.

Within 8 weeks of starting the Goulding Process-  SleepTalk™ his sparring had significantly improved. Two incidents around this time highlighted the change: After being punched whilst sparring with a 20 year old he started to cry but quickly responded when his coach to ‘stop crying and get angry’ and went on to win the next three rounds.

His coach commented that he had never seen him fight with such speed and commitment and asked “What have your parents been doing – giving you ox blood for breakfast?” In early December he was awarded a special badge with the words ‘Sparring Champion’ on it for being the ‘most improved’ in sparring. He is now asking us to enter him in national competitions.

I should mention that in line with Paola’s recommendations we simultaneously used The Goulding Process- SleepTalk™ for our 6 year old daughter whose teacher had told us that she needed more confidence in speaking and performing in front of other people.

With Paola’s help we tailored our suggestions to this need and again the changes were noticeable. She has since started piano lessons (something she previously resisted) and loves them, joined a performing dance group and volunteered for a speaking part in the Nativity play where she coped brilliantly when, at the last minute, she was given additional lines to cover for another child.

I have no doubt that The Goulding Process- SleepTalk™ has produced amazing results for both of my children in a few short months. They have both gained in confidence and ability and are clearly getting more out life.

The Goulding Process- SleepTalk™ has also improved our relationship with the children and each other. The two minutes of love that we give them every night offsets the usual stresses and careless remarks of the day and re-aligns us all to our true feelings for each other. It is a beautiful practice and one that I will continue as long as it remains beneficial.

Parent Feedback – ST Consultant: Paola Bagnell – 2014 UK

A is a 5 year old boy who lives with his Mum and Dad and his little sister aged 2. Both parents were in a loving relationship and both keen to do the SleepTalk® technique together with both their children.

The initial reasons for A’s Mum wanting to use the SleepTalk method were to help him establish more self-confidence and assurance. Mum also noted that A was a premature baby and she said that she had experienced a few challenges along the way with A’s health due to this early birth.

17 August 2011

I met with both parents in August 2011. At this time A was described as a very intelligent, imaginative boy who knew just how to get his Mum’s attention through what was described as a “whiney voice”.

Mum commented how A could attempt to be very controlling when she was talking with other adults and didn’t want to “share his mum”. He would scream and go into ‘melt downs’ and this was often worse when A didn’t know people that well and felt uncomfortable in new surroundings. This was described to me as “clingy behaviour”.

Both Mum and Dad very loving parents who often spent much time with both children in the day time, but there was obviously some underlying belief that A had, and this was leading him to feel uncomfortable in new situations and only secure when with parents. At the time A was resistant in learning things himself, not keen to try new classes, and commented that he was most happy when “at home with Mummy and Daddy”.

The other thing that Mum and Dad wanted assistance with was to get to the core reason for A’s fussy eating, as he would often seek attention at meal times and both parents felt that there was a lot of fuss around eating.  I left both parents with the SleepTalk® folder and they were confident with the process and how to apply it at bedtime.

13 October 2011

I met with A’s parents for the second time after they had been saying the ‘Foundation’ SleepTalk® suggestions to A for approximately 8 weeks. Mum said that A seemed “more level” now with his confidence and emotions. He was “snapping out of his whiney voice” much quicker and “able to control his emotions a lot better”.  He seemed to be calmer and less anxious and “more comfortable in his own skin”, parents said.    It was noted that A was more confident without parents and not as “needy” in new situations.

Dad said that he was delighted when he took A to a friend’s party on his own as Mum was away that weekend and A just ran off and played. Dad said that he was convinced that when they got there A would be clingy and yet when he turned around he had run off to play!  You could see how pleased Dad was with this change in a matter of 7 weeks!

The one thing that still stood out was that A was still coming in to his parent’s bed at approx 12 am and lying right next to them indicating a need to be near his parents still. This was after he had wet his pull ups. So he would wee in his pull ups and then go to parent’s bed and get in with them. So together we looked for a suitable support statement to add to the Foundation words.

21 November 2011

I met with A’s parents again approx 5 weeks later. A had dry pull ups at bedtime within a week!  Within one week A was getting up to go to the toilet himself and going back to his own bed where before he was going to his parents bed and getting in with them.

A was then going to his parents bed at approx 5 am and Dad said that he was more “calm and cuddly when getting in the bed rather than in a needy way”.

Both parents said that they didn’t feel that this was an issue now with A coming in at that time as it was nearly time to awaken for the day, so we didn’t address this any further and agreed that he would most probably grow out of this and when he got his new bed.

Mum said that A was now eating a better quantity of food and not fighting as much at meal times which could also have been due to the fact A was now taking quality Vitamin B tablets for children. Due to the sibling rivalry suggestions of the SleepTalk®, A was now saying that he loved his sister in the day time to her – so verbalising his feelings more freely and more understanding with his younger sister.

Parents noticed an improvement with his writing and school reported an improvement with his concentration in his work. Again, following a family weekend away, parents noticed that A was becoming more and more confident in unusual and new situations. He was now getting more sleep due to staying in his own bed longer at night time and was more settled therefore sleeping for longer periods of time.

Mum mentioned that whenever A showed a sign of anxiety which was rare these days, she would say some of the SleepTalk® words to him in a loving manner and his “shoulders would just drop and he would become more relaxed”.  Increased cooperation meant that A was now more understanding of what his parents were saying to him and so he now listened when they were explaining things to him and he was more cooperative.

Summary

In summary there were notable improvements in sleep, bedwetting, eating, self security, confidence and self esteem, general well-being, communication, studies, and communication and relationships with parents within 3 months.

Both parents remained fully committed to the program throughout the whole 3 months, alternating the evenings that they said the words to their child and used some of the positive wording in the daytime to gain optimal benefits for their child.

2012 – Jenny Harris – UK – SleepTalk consultant.

We first started the Goulding Process 5 months ago after hearing about it through our friend… Natalie Cossar who is an accredited Trainer.  Intrigued and interested in how such a simple process could make such positive changes to not only our childrens lives, but also our lives as a family unit, I purchased the book and gave it a go. As the book says, if the only thing that happens to your child is that they feel loved and accepted, is that such a bad thing??  I don’t think so.

After reading the book, we started the foundation process with our two daughters “M” aged 9 and “E” aged 5.  We had had a bit of a rocky time last year, and felt that the process may make the girls feel more secure and settled. At first, my husband didn’t feel particularly confident in doing the ‘Foundation’ statements on his own, so we took it in turns to say a sentence each – and this worked really well.  The first few weeks, we noticed that “M” would strongly sense our presence in the room and would squirm about in her bed as we slowly said the foundation statements.  Our other girl “E” would sometimes even talk and respond to our statements in her sleep – which was a little confronting, but we followed the advice in the book of soothing her into a deep sleep and then continuing with the statements.

After about 4 weeks, we noticed quite a difference in the behaviour of “M”.  She is a self-contained child – who is more of a ‘watcher’ than a participator – and suddenly she was actively seeking me out and sitting on my knee to watch TV, or even when we ate dinner.  This was quite unusual behaviour from her as she tends to like her personal space, however, we welcomed this with open arms, and now 5 months later, she still continues with this affection. She also seems to be more confident in herself and far more resilient to the ups and downs of school life – bouncing back when she is knocked down.

‘E’ s changes were more subtle than “M”‘s.  She seems to argue less with her sister and calms down more quickly when she has a tantrum.

In the September School Holidays we went away two weeks, and in the throes of travelling, we overlooked the nightly ‘Goulding Process’.  Once we arrived at our destination we noticed that the girls were arguing more than normal, so we decided to re-introduce the nightly talks.  Once we recommenced the process there was a noticeable turn around in their behaviour towards one another – which obviously has a follow-on effect to the whole of the family’s harmony and enjoyment of the holiday.

After doing a “Where Now’ evaluation with Natalie, we identified a couple of areas that we would like to provide support to “M’  At  present, we have moved onto a specific statement for ‘M’ and are currently working on a statement for ‘E’ with a view to introducing it before Christmas.  We have decided to stagger the introduction of specific statements so that we can properly check for changes in each child, rather than trying to identify them in both.

The Goulding Process has not only had a positive impact on the emotional wellbeing and resilience of our children, but also on our emotional connectedness as partners and parents – and I would highly recommend it to all parents as happiness in the home follows you into your daily lives. Kind Regards “J”

December 2011 – Natalie Cossar – Trainer.